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Showing posts from December, 2019

I Honor who I am

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I Honor who I am Image vie Pexels Sometimes the affirmations that we need pop up right when we need a specific reminder to make it through the day and not feel as if you are going crazy. The process of figuring out who I am, or rather, rediscovering who I am, has been a road filled with boulders and precarious crossings. As children, when we are young, we are exactly who we are. Unapologetically ourselves. However, somewhere along the way, growing up, many of us lose the concept of who we are. We are told to hide certain sides of us, as society somehow determines what is acceptable and what is not. Meanwhile, we ignore that little voice inside all of us. That voice who says, “but that’s not how I feel,” “I don’t believe in xyz,” and “hold up, wait a minute.” That voice that acts as an extension, a reminder, of who we are. Find that voice. Use it. We are very complex. But, on the basic levels, we are quite similar. We have been instructed to tone down who we are in order to

I am a Strong Being

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I am a Strong Being This morning’s affirmation is, again, so very timely! I swear it’s as if the universe is sending me little signals that I am getting close to being on the right track. For the full moon practice this week, I invoked the power of the Moon Goddesses. There is a lot going on in my life, many of which are out of my control. This can rile up my anxiety. Big. Time. The reminder that I am a powerful being was also reinforced by the first song that came on my Pandora app. I often don’t care for remixes or covers of songs that I already like, but the one that came on this morning was one that I actually liked. It was a remix of...The Power by Snap. I mean, what other direct reminders do I need that I, that we, are powerful and strong? This reminder is also timely in that I am meeting with a new primary care provider later today. After being gaslighted by doctors for over two DECADES, seeing new doctors can cause a ton of anxiety. The fear of not being believed. The fea

I Create As I Speak

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I Create As I Speak The words we use carry great power. When we speak about something, it can help to inform, influence, and mold our minds. While this can be seen quite easily when talking with others, the words we speak to ourselves, when we are away from social media, work, school, or friends, can have a significant influence on how we see and treat ourselves. During the past few years, we have been reminded of the power our words have on a larger scale. Words matter. What we say matters. How we say it matters too. When we mock others, we put more negativity out into the universe. Same when we mock ourselves or knock ourselves down. Friends like depression and anxiety LOVE to speak ill of ourselves. The more we hear about how great or horrible something (or someone) is, the more likely we are to adopt similar views to the ones being shared on a variety of social media sites. Words themselves may not wield much power, but the meanings and perceptions we have attributed to the

Every Mistake is a Learning Experience

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Every Mistake is a Learning Experience Think about someone in your life or circle of friends who seems to have an overwhelming amount of luck. It may appear like they everything just goes their way. However, if you were to watch them throughout the process of pursuing a goal and achieving it, aside from it being really weird and voyeuristic, you would see that it most likely took several stumbles and failures before finally arriving at the determined goal. If we were to have everything in our lives go the way we wanted, would we be happy? Perhaps, but our goals may be even loftier if we had made a few mistakes along the way. Why? Because each mistake that we make is an opportunity to learn something new. I have made probably a million mistakes over the course of my 42 years and I still make mistakes. I used to be embarrassed when I made an error in something and in school, I placed so much pressure on myself to do everything I could to refrain from making a mistake. The stress of p

Remember you are water. Cry. Release. Flow.

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Remember you are water. Cry. Release. Flow. Although the views may be changing, showing emotions openly in society is still a bit of a taboo. When we are young, crying is one of our main methods of communication, as our verbal ability takes a while to develop. We are trained, in a way, that through using our voice, we will eventually get our desired outcome. As we grow older, our cries morph into words and language, but the goal remains the same. As we mature to adulthood, our voice becomes stifled by society and the norms by which we are expected to adhere. However, this also includes part of what makes us compassionate and empathize with our peers and family members. When we are told to refrain from crying or are told that doing so equates with weakness, we prevent an integral aspect of who we are. We feel deeply, yet are told to only show surface feelings. Don’t even get me started on the effect society’s need for stifling emotions has on violence and toxic masculinity… There i

I Will Do Better Next Time

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I Will Do Better Next Time A few days ago, I wrote about how the quest for perfection can stifle our ability to learn new things. If we fail the first time we do something, how likely are you to keep trying new things until you either become so focused on it that nothing else matters, or you give up out of frustration? The lure of perfection can be quite consuming. If we put the idea of perfection out of our realm of consciousness, we can then start to focus on how you can improve upon the last result. Then continue to improve until the desired outcome is obtained. Doing better the next time almost puts the gears in your head into motion, thinking about ways to improve your outcome of a specific task. However, if we keep thinking about how we can improve the next time we encounter a situation, we risk the potential to revert back to how we handled it the last time. If we keep thinking that we always have a next time, we may eventually run out of time. Tomorrow is not promised, b

My Actions and Choices Reflect my Values

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My Actions and Choices Reflect my Values It is pretty easy to lose track of who you are. Who you really are. We can fall into a pattern of playing the various roles that we think represent who we are, but do they really? We are often tasked with wearing the hats of parent, child, employee, supervisor, friend, and caretaker throughout our lives. When we have to fill so many different roles, it can be easier to put who you are and some of your values on the backburner in order to succeed in whichever goal we are pursuing. While fragmenting who you are to fill a certain role may make it easier, as there are fewer personal barriers that can potentially get in the way of your goals, we risk losing who we are. When our values are not reflected in our actions, it can create a separation between our authentic self and the self we portray to the outside world. This, in turn, can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, and a sense of feeling lost. Gee, I wonder why stifling who you ar

My Work Does Not Have to be Perfect to be a Success

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My Work Does Not Have to be Perfect to be a Success It was impeccable timing, pulling this affirmation today. See, I can often be a bit of a perfectionist. While that trait is certainly good in several fields where accuracy and perfection is required, it can also stifle the creative process. If we are afraid of making mistakes, if we are worried that the creation we have in our heads will be less than perfect, we may refrain from beginning in the first place. Whether it is writing, painting, or chainmail, if we are too worried about failing, we will become our own stumbling block. If we keep doing that, we can become constipated. Not only figuratively when it comes to our creativity, but also literally, as the stress we place upon ourselves can mess with our body. The gut-brain can become so consumed with fear of imperfection that it will literally slow down the digestion and elimination processes. While we strive for perfection, we tend to lose the enjoyment of a process. When

Remember You Are Earth. Ground. Build. Give.

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Remember You Are Earth. Ground. Build. Give.  Image via Alexandra Levasseur This morning’s affirmation reminds me of one of my favorite practices. As a kid, I was grounded once. But as an adult, I try to get grounded as often as I need. Sure, they are quite different applications of the word grounded , but they share a similar concept. Each type provides a time for quiet reflection and introspection. Okay, it may not sound like something a kid would engage in when they are serving their punishment for getting caught sneaking out, but it may occur on a subconscious level. After all, not being able to go out with friends or talking on the phone can trigger introspection, as the child has a lot more time to pause and think about what they did and why it was wrong. Or, at least that was my experience, as my punishments often included writing an essay on why what I did was wrong. Sure, it may not be effective for all circumstances, but it certainly does give each party, parent and

I Am Deeply Loved by the Gods and Goddesses

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I Am Deeply Loved by the Gods and Goddesses Today’s affirmation highlights the role feeling loved and supported plays in our lives and how the absence of such can prevent us from achieving our goals. While there are certainly people who have achieved great successes in life without support from a loving family and circle of friends, the presence of love and support might make these goals easier to achieve. Love and kindness to ourselves and others can be looked at as rare superpowers in a way, as our society places more weight on achievement and “success,” often overlooking the supports that serve as the foundation of change. Although today’s affirmation mentions gods and goddesses, it also applies to ourselves and those who we consider to be our tribe, our family, our gaggle of misfits. Likewise, if you call upon the support of a higher power of whichever belief system you may have, it is that sense of nurturing love that you experience. If we are able to venture outside of our c

Living Authentically

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“I release all false projections of myself and embrace my true spirit” Image via Pexels This morning’s affirmation that has shaped today’s post was a great reminder to live my life authentically. It seems as if I have lived so many different lives, often for the service of someone other than myself. Being in the military for over a decade will do that to you, I guess. Having to conform to a life that feels a bit off can feel like you are wearing someone else’s shoes that are two sizes too small. Sure, the shoes can do the job, but think about how much you will be missing out by being preoccupied with how much pain and discomfort the shoes are causing you to endure. Living your life in a way that prevents you from living authentically can zap the drive, determination, and passion from your life. Then you are left with an empty shell that you eventually convince yourself that you were born with this void in an attempt at soothing a cognitive dissonance that grows like the hun

I Meet Challenges with Grace

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Image via Pexels I finally got around to printing and cutting out the 60+ affirmations that I compiled earlier this year. Sure, some may consider affirmations to be hokey, along with witchcraft, but that’s not my view. As I have been on my journey of rebirth, new things are appealing and call out to me. While I am fortunate to have lived so many different lives, the one that is currently in my path is not one that I would have expected or chosen for myself. However, there are times and circumstances that are out of your control. I had my life lined up and was working towards my well-established goal. I did all of the coursework, attended my residencies, changed my degree, then graduated with my MS degree in clinical psychology with a specialization in applied research. Research was what made my brain light up and become flooded with all of those feel good chemicals. I was working towards my goal of becoming a principal investigator (PI) and lead my own research studies in an atte