Pushing Boundaries

Today we are going to talk a little bit about boundaries. Sometimes boundaries can have a negative connotation in our minds. Many of us are raised, especially as women (not all women, but this includes people who identify as female) in society, we're often the ones who are told to be like accommodating to other people. To put their needs first.

While, yes, this is helpful, it may not always be healthy though. When you keep saying no to what you want to do and are not able to pursue what you want, that's a problem. I'm not saying if you want to go pursue a wild scheme or things like that, but when you're saying yes to something that you don't want to do, it can kind of put you in a weird position where you kind of start to lose track of who you are or what you want.

Boundaries are a challenge. I learned about it in school for my Master's program and I still have a hard time with boundaries because I don't want to be looked at as the bad person, the mean person you know, because I said no. We have to have our boundaries because then we know what we're able to accept from others by way of treatment, and also what were able to accept of ourselves. If we don't have those firm boundaries, then what do we stand for? 

Do you just want to be a doormat all your life? It's fine if you do, I know it can be a kink. But, you need to know when to say yes and when to say no. This even applies when it comes to adult relationships. You need to have to your boundaries and communicate them with the other person or people in your life. If you are doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing, that it's something you don't want to do, that's wrong. 

You need to voice those things to the people are in your life. If after you state your boundaries people keep pushing it, they keep and keep and keep trying to test your boundaries, maybe it's just time to wash it clean and say "Okay. Thank you for teaching me this very important lesson but we're going to have to not hang out anymore." 

You have to be honest and open with how you're feeling because if somebody keeps violating your boundaries, it's not really a good sign of respect from others. If you're giving them the respect but they keep pushing your boundaries, it may be time to make a change. 

Boundaries are important. Even at work, once we get back to work or whatever work looks like, we have to learn how to prioritize things in our lives that can help and nurture and help us to grow as people and as a society. We're going to need it. 

I also learned the importance of that when I was working in direct care because I would have clients calling me while I was home to relax and that's crossing a boundary so yeah, that really crossed a boundary.

Going forward, be kind to yourself, set boundaries, and, remember, kindness is Magic.